Sweetie, go get mommy's bazooka.

My name is Paige, welcome to my HaHacienda! I'm a huge nerdy stoner, so you know you'll like something.

spicyshimmy:

dogapult:

yall thirstin after tall guys like his height is gonna do something for u. what u gonna do, build a penthouse suite on his head??? view the homeland from his shoulders???

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penthouse suite: would fit between those horns

homeland: would see from those shoulders

yes. yes, perfect

(via roboticsunflower)

whorville:

*whispers to you during sex*

Don’t forget to rate, comment, and subscribe

(via sniffing)

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

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  • start a boy band:

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  • spot some choice booty:

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  • break into song:

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  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

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  • attend a metal show:

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  • listen to some sick jams:

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  • discover zombieism:

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  • sample some tasty snacks:

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  • watch someone get burned bad:

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  • find something you really like:

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  • find something you really, really like:

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  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

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  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

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(via bitchiaintchochangimharleyquinn)

unmonroe:

swiggityswagurfab:






This guy would survive a horror movie.

This guy would survive a horror movie.

Every single time this comes up on my dash it gets funnier. Like I just fell of of my bed from laughing so hard

He hit him with a lamp. 

I love his freedom pants.

im crying omg

I am crying so much i can’t

unmonroe:

swiggityswagurfab:


This guy would survive a horror movie.

This guy would survive a horror movie.

Every single time this comes up on my dash it gets funnier. Like I just fell of of my bed from laughing so hard

He hit him with a lamp.

I love his freedom pants.

im crying omg

I am crying so much i can’t

(via shouta121)